Saturday, 2 April 2022

Ghana memoirs – baby names

 

One of the interesting things I discovered during trip during my trips to Ghana is how the locals name their babies.

Believe it or not, babies are named after the day they are born. Thus, you can estimate that all the men in this country have just seven names between them to share. Ditto for the women.

 The former UN Secretary – General, Dr. Kofi Annan, a Ghanaian, is Friday’s child. And their first President, Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, revered as the father of that nation, was born on a Saturday.

 The list of baby names below was prepared for me by the receptionist at my hotel. She had one word of caution, though – the spellings were as per her language – I do not know what it was, and it could very well be different in others – and I do not know what those languages are, either… (BTW, Ghana has over 50 major languages !!)


DAYS

BOY

GIRL

Sunday

Kwasi

Akosua

Monday

Kwadjo

Adzoa

Tuesday

Kwasena

Abena

Wednesday

Kwela

Akua

Thursday

Yaw

Yaa

Friday

Kofi

Afia

Saturday

Kwami

Ama

 I was chatting with the hotel staff after receiving this list, when a thought struck me.

 Try to imagine a similar practice in Bengal, with a few million men, each having one of only seven names, like – “Shombar Dey”, “Mongolbar Kar”, “Budhbar Gupta”, “Shonibar Dhar”… We do have Sundays in our names, though – Robi Banerjee, et al…

 And how would the local telephone directory look like ?

 *****

 

Sunday, 20 March 2022

Ghana memoirs - local English

As most of you will know, English is spoken right across the world in diverse local flavours. In India, given its many local languages, people think in their mother tongue first, then speak in English, giving rise to the phrase “vernacular English”. Ditto for the Vietnamese and Chinese. I guess their languages do not accommodate the concept of space, time and direction with the result that it takes some time for outsiders to figure out the exact meaning of what they say.

One can write many hilarious pieces based on this use of English across the world, but that is for another time. This piece is about how English is spoken on the African continent – more specifically Ghana. I began to understand the local accent towards the later part of my stay in Accra.

The following list will give you some idea of English as it is spoken almost all across the African continent : (I must confess I took the help of a local web-site to compile this, before I could begin to chat with them like old pals….…)

Bad - you sleep on it in the bad-room

Beds – creatures associated with flying and cholesterol-free meat – hawks, crows, sparrows, doves, etc.

Beg - container, as in shopping-beg, hand-beg

Chetz - where worshippers go on Sundays to pray

Detty - opposite of clean

Driva - holds the steering wheel of a teksi

Duck – It was very duck at night

Ebbon - Urban

Erriors – Areas (Like - Ebbon erriors are safe in Ghana even when it is duck.)

Ewways - Airways

Eth – Earth

Fest - the one before second and third

Guddin - where you grow kebbijees

Hair – female pronoun - as opposed to hiss

Heppi – Happy – I'm so heppi – it’s Freiday

Hiss – male pronoun – masculine form of hair

Itch – Each – as in “itch and avairy pesson goes to chetz on Sunday.”

Jems - little bugs that make you sick

Kah - what you drive around in

Kebbijees - vegetable

Len - to acquire knowledge

Pee pull – Give powa to da pee pull….

Pesson - one of pee pull

Shex - houses in squatter camps

Shit of peppa - something to write on

Spitch - speech

Sweamas – pee-pull in a sweaming pul

Teksi – kah for hiah

Thest – Thirst

Wek – Work – You goin’ to wek now ?


***

Sunday, 6 February 2022

Ghana memoirs – the flight over the Sahara

The flight from Dubai to Accra takes a little under eight hours, six of which are over the desert lands of the Arabian Peninsula and the African Sahara. I was elated over the possibility that we might be flying over Egypt, but that was not to be. The plane turned southwest and flew over Saudi Arabia and Sudan, then headed straight west over Chad and Niger, before turning south again to hit the Atlantic coast and follow it to Accra.

It is a day flight, over a sandy waste interspersed with dark brown hills and mountains, otherwise mostly featureless and harshly reflecting the sunlight. The reflected glare off the lifeless, endless wasteland was so strong that the airline crew asked us to down the window shutters, and that is how we travelled for the entire six hours over the Arabian Desert, the Red Sea and the Sahara. At 40,000 feet we could sense the heat… it is easy to imagine how terrible it is on the ground !! Time to time I would raise the shutter a couple of inches to peek down – the view rarely changed, except for shape of the sand dunes and the brown hills here and there…..  

To think that there are so many countries in this area, each of them ready to fight or die for a piece of land that holds virtually no life, is to come to terms with the frailties of the human mind, the inherent fallacies of our thought processes…..

The only beautiful and heart-warming feature of this endless waste lay in the Sudanese part of the Sahara - the Nile, cutting across the desert, its turquoise blue waters silently meandering north, with patches of grasslands and familiar green-brown stripes of agricultural fields on either side, standing out in stark contrast to the yellow sands immediately beyond.

On one of these flights we hit a sandstorm over the Sahara. Its intensity was such that the plane kept bouncing even at 40,000 feet and all on-board services had to be stopped for a while. Outside the window nothing could be seen, except for a bright yellow cloud – so bright that even sunglasses did not help, and the shutters had to be drawn. We flew through the storm for well over an hour.

It is said that these sandstorms over the Sahara can be seen from the International Space Station as they carry fine sand to the Atlantic Ocean to the west.

***

The return flight is in the evening. It flies east along the Atlantic coast for some time before turning north to cross Nigeria and Niger. Then it turns east over Libya and flies over Egypt and Saudi Arabia to reach Dubai.

All we could see for most of the time were a brilliantly star-studded sky in a deep purple-blue hue and an inky black nothingness below, which met along a horizon, faintly visible in the star-light. That was the Sahara at night.

A few hours into the flight, I noticed an array of brilliant lights stretching into the horizon to meet the stars above. Switched on the plane’s monitor to check – we were approaching Luxor in Egypt. As we got closer, the Nile was visible as a black ribbon running through a brilliant pattern of yellow lights on either side. I do not recall having seen a more brilliantly-lit city in recent times. We were flying too high above Luxor for me to make out any of its famous monuments, but the brilliance of its city lights, against the backdrop of the velvety black Sahara and under a diamond studded sky will remain etched in my mind for a long time...

I have tried to capture this night view of the Sahara in one of my poems :

“... Deep blue night o’er a sleeping land;

Blood-red dawn across desert sand –

Flying high with the sun so low

That quickly turns into a fiery glow;

But my home and hearth; they

Beckon me, wherever I go !!


Two-hour sunsets and four-hour nights;

Endless days on morning flights –

Over forests, plains and coasts we go

Over burning deserts and mountain snow;

But my home and hearth; they

Beckon me, wherever I go !!”

  

Friday, 15 October 2021

CHINA – first impressions (this story is of 2010 vintage)

 A friend of mine just returned from a 10-day business visit to China. It is the height of winter in the northern latitudes and definitely not a very good time to go there, but business is business…. I list below his impressions just as he told me – which can serve as guidelines / warnings to all those who wish or plan to go there in future.

Beijing – Daytime temperatures were between -2 and -7 degrees Celsius, but there was bright sunshine and no snow… There is a tremendous pressure on the general populace to start speaking English, smile and bow, as soon as they meet foreigners, in preparation for the upcoming Olympics.

It was difficult to find money-changers – almost all signs are still in Mandarin… And then one policeman came out to help my friend…. He said, “You money ? Me money !!! Give 800 Dollar, I give 700 Dollar in Yuan !!” My friend, the poor visitor, had no choice – he handed over 800 US Dollars to the fellow and he vanished into the crowd.

A few minutes later a lady constable came up with a broad smile and said, “Sit, sit. No worry !!” Our friend, lighter by 800 dollars, had no intention of cooling his backside on a steel bench in sub-zero temperatures, and continued pacing up and down. After about 20 minutes the policeman returned with the widest grin possible and gave him 700 dollars worth of Yuan and the policewoman who had been watching him from a distance all this while, said, “See ? No think !!”…. That is money-changing in China for you.

 Xi’an (pronounced Zee-an) – He went to Xi’an the next day. This city, located in a province with the same name, is south-west of Beijing, but mountainous and extremely cold because of its proximity to Mongolia. It was grey and snowing the day he landed there, and he was unable to take any pictures at all…. The runway was being cleared of snow by a few men using brooms and shovels…. The plane skidded a couple of times on a layer of ice as it taxied to the tarmac. The plane stopped about five metres short of the aerobridge, and passengers were asked to come down the stairs, walk a few metres in the driving wind and snow and climb up into the aerobridge through the side entrance…..

Public toilets – The public toilets in China, apart from the ones in the largest of Beijing hotels, have one common feature – they do not have doors. Neither do you get any toilet paper. And all toilets are the “squat” type – or what we call “Indian Style” toilets in India.  My friend found out pretty soon why everyone goes around carrying an umbrella in the snowy winter. They use it when they have to use the toilets !!!! You go into a public toilet open your umbrella, and do your stuff….. This is true for both male and female toilets.

 In fact the average Chinese are apparently so used to this that when they do use a toilet with doors, they do not bother to close it…..

Outside the airport at Xi’an, men with shovels were employed to clear the snow from the roads…. And the leftover snow had become a hard, black, slippery, surface – one on which cars, two-wheelers, three-wheelers, cycles, rolled and slipped with gay abandon…..

To summarise, here are a couple of travel tips if and when you do want to visit China :

·         Carry an umbrella (by now you know why)

·         Stuff your coat pockets with toilet paper – as many ply’s thick as you can – again, for very obvious reasons.

More later, as and when I get to hear from him……

Saturday, 2 October 2021

A Boss... And a friend

 I met him about two decades ago in Brunei and went on to work for him for well-nigh six years.

He was a Singaporean Chinese, who had set up a company in Brunei. He had a distinctive sense of humour – bordering on the racist – but then we never worry about those things in these parts.

 One incident, very early on, is etched in my memory, and has changed me forever. We were having a serious discussion on a project, evaluating pros and cons of different approaches and he asked, “Do you agree with me ?”

I, true to my Indian upbringing, answered, “No, I think so too !!”

He looked at me, repeated the question. I repeated my response.

For the third time, he asked, “Do you agree with me ?”

I said, “No, I agree with you.”

He said, “All Chinese living outside China are very confused, and you Indians make it harder !! Do you, or do you not agree ? Yes or no ?”

I said “Yes”. Then he said, “Stop beginning your sentences with a “no”. Problem with all Indians that I have met. And then some of you shake your head in a way that leaves the whole world wondering whether it was a “yes” or a “no” !”

Lesson learnt – I now use this incident to train people.

He was very fond of wines, beer and golf.  I had started attending the gym, when one day over lunch he said, “I too have six packs of beer gut covering the original set.” On another occasion, I said something about believing his words and he said, “You are a fool to believe a smiling Chinese businessman...”

And boy !! He could party !! A few months down the line, I asked him to celebrate the completion of our project. He asked me what kind of food I would like to have. I, like a fool, said, “Authentic Chinese food.” He smiled and then a few weeks later organised a dinner in Singapore.

That was one dinner I will never forget – I got to have seven new animals – cooked in northern and southern Chinese styles... The list included sea anemones, sea cucumber and geoduck, among others. Pretty tasty and all that, but then, at his request the Chef brought an uncooked geoduck to show me. Holy smoke !! I could or would never have eaten that thing, but then I already had !!  You readers can look up the “geoduck” on the net.

 He was a person fairly steeped in Chinese traditions. A few years later, someone asked him over lunch where I was present, what made him hire me. He said, “Look at his forehead. That is the forehead of a hard worker and an honest man.” Oh ! My God ! And I thought my certificates were responsible.

 He was Roy Tan – my boss and friend. Roy passed away on 30/Sep/2021 – another COVID statistic.

In his own peculiar way he touched many lives while working the restricted market of Brunei. He touched my life in more ways than one.

 Rest in peace, Roy – your time came a bit too soon. And I will remember you till my time comes.

Sunday, 30 May 2021

Silent, silent night

 

Silent moonrise o’er a silent world

Silent trees with their leaves unfurl’d,

No breeze at all,

No birds do call -

Thoughts run amok in a silent world !!

 

I have lived with silence for many a year,

Far from everyone near and dear,

Earning my bread

So they could be fed,

But this is silence laced with fear !!




Waning moon

 

 Silent silhouettes of trees so high

And a waning moon in a starless sky

Frogs and crickets completing the milieu,

‘Cause the locked down streets are silent too !!